Singing Loudly

Four years of high school chemistry taught me a lot, but I wasn't prepared for the two course of chemistry I attempted at college. I always wanted to do something with the sciences and maybe go on to medical school, but I couldn't handle it. It wasn't that high school classes didn't prepare me for the more advanced levels of chemistry. The problem was more that I was very slow at understanding what I was doing in class. I didn't mind the fact that I would spend three hours on chemistry a night when others in my class were getting it in thirty minutes. Getting to where it really made sense just took me awhile. I can't say that it upset me, because I didn't mind the extra time. I enjoyed studying chemistry during high school.

Then, in college, I took a couple courses and found I couldn't do it. I no longer had time to allow it to make sense. Instead I wound up lost in class and trying to play catch up until I was helplessly behind. In my other course, I found that English was never that way. I didn't have any problems understanding complex novels, explicating poems, or using different forms of literary criticism. That just seemed second nature to me, which is why I left chemistry behind.

I look back and wonder if maybe I should be envious of my friends who had instant understanding of chemistry. Who were able to go on to college courses and understand everything that they studied. I'm not though, because chemistry isn't unobtainable for me. I'm just one to wait and see when it connects. It usually would after I put in the time needed for me to understand it. Besides, I have English which connects in my almost automatically.