Singing Loudly: Bush Press Conference 11/4/04 : Not Purple; this country is Red

Singing Loudly

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Bush Press Conference 11/4/04 : Not Purple; this country is Red

As Lewis Black says, "Yesterday the voice of the people was heard. I promise not to imitate it out of respect for the mentally retarded." Today Bush gave his first press conference in God knows how long.

Yesterday I pledged to reach out to the whole nation

Try not to touch me, please.

We are fighting a continuing war on terror. And every American has a stake in the outcome of this war

Let's get to fighting it then.

Every civilized country also has a stake in the outcome of this war.

I thought you just said that Americans have a stake in this "war."

Whatever our past disagreements, we share a common enemy.

It's a current disagreement and that enemy is you.

And we have common duties: to protect our peoples, to confront disease and hunger and poverty in troubled regions of the world.

Is that why your AIDS drug czar teaches Africans that condoms do not help to prevent the spread of AIDS?

So I urge the Congress to pass an effective intelligence reform bill that I can sign into law.

This one will be called "You're Really Fucked Patriot Act"

To accelerate the momentum of this economy and to keep creating jobs, we must take practical measures to help our job creators, the entrepreneurs and the small-business owners.

Perhaps the first thing you can do is stop giving incentives for companies overseas to take away Americans jobs.

We must confront the frivolous lawsuits that are driving up the cost of health care and hurting doctors and patients.

Buzz word watch! Buzz word watch! I really want you to bring up a pre-civil war Constitutional Law case again to really show people you know about the law.

We must continue the work of education reform to bring high standards and accountability, not just to our elementary and secondary schools, but to our high schools as well.

You didn't screw that up enough the first time? Soon we'll be the lowest educated, "civilized country" in the world instead of 7th lowest.

We must reform our complicated and outdated tax code.

I do agree, however, I your plan is not the way to go about this reformation.

We must show our leadership by strengthening Social Security for our children and our grandchildren.

Just admit that social security is dead.

It is an opportunity to help millions of our fellow citizens find security and independence that come from owning something from ownership.

What the hell are you talking about?

The campaign over, Americans are expecting a bipartisan effort and results. I'll reach out to everyone who shares our goals.

49% of Americans will not be reached out to for the next four years. At least you're being honest.

With that overpandering, I'll answer a few questions. Hunt?

Ok..good...let's get to questions.

Now that I've got the will of the people at my back, I'm going to start enforcing the one-question rule. That was three questions.

Didn't you just say "I'll answer a few questions?" Second, what the hell are you talking about...now that you have the "will of the people at [your] back"? Did we elect Julius Caesar?

Again, you violated the one-question rule right off the bat. Obviously, you didn't listen to the will of the people.

Oh, yeah, your mandate and lame sense of humor. Great combo.

I told the people on the campaign trail that I'll pick somebody who knows the difference between personal opinion and the strict interpretation of the law.

You said that Dred Scott was an example of a personal opinion. Actually, in case you don't understand how Amendments to the Constitution work, it was a strict interpretation of the Constitution at the time. Part of why it is so important is because we are able to see what the 13th Amendment did to change the interpretation of the constititution. Also, what is a "personal opinion"? You should either go to law school or consult with a lawyer a little more frequently.

I laid out a doctrine, David, that said if you harbor terrorists, you're as equally as guilty as the terrorists, and that doctrine was ignored by the Taliban and we removed the Taliban.

And then you left to take care of your "personal grudge" and now the terrorists are back where you "removed" them and in many other places.

And it's like earning capital. You asked do I feel free. Let me put it to you this way: I earned capital in the campaign, political capital, and now I intend to spend it. It is my style. That?s what happened after the 2000 election, I earned some capital.

Rare honesty that's a little bit scary.

To a person, I am proud of the work they have done.

Take your medication.

I'm going to start thinking about it. I'm going to Camp David this afternoon with Laura, and I'll begin the process of thinking about the Cabinet and the White House staff. And we'll let you know at the appropriate time when decisions have been made.

It'll be 2008 if you're the one doing the thinking.

But that's what you want if you're the commander in chief and a decision-maker. You want people to walk in and say, I don't agree with this, or I do agree with that, and here's what my recommendation is.

"...Because then you get to tell Colin Powell "You're fired" sort of like Donald Trump."

You might remember I don't know if you know this or not but 90 percent of the businesses are sole proprietorships or subchapter S corporations.

But you might remember that you want to get rid of that tax code that defines subchapter S corporations. I wonder, wonder why.

I've been wizened to the ways of Washington.

No, Washington isn't all about lying, cheating, stealing, and fucking over America in every possible way you can. For future reference wizened isn't a word.
-x-

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