Thursday, August 19, 2004
I woke up around 7am to the regular alarm clock of my cat telling me she is hungry. This is usually done with a little lick to my arm or elbow (whatever is convenient for her). Today was no exception. I wasn't ready to rouse myself from sleep, so I shoed her out of my bed and fell back to sleep. Around 9 I got myself from bed to give her the food she so desired. Then I found myself some breakfast and started to get ready for the day.
Yesterday wasn't busy but it was my last day of freedom. Today will begin orientation for both new law students and the new clinic students. I'll be heavily involved in the clinic aspect. At 11 I left to go over to the law school for a meeting with the other chief counsels. We talked about the website I designed and other things. Ate a little pizza. It was good. Then a few of the students hung around to talk about life, sports, school, and other topics. It's always fun to be a part of things.
Despite having a lot of great friends, a very loving family, and respect from a lot of people who meet me it is difficult to not feel loneliness. Mid-20s is such a weird time in life. I'm supposed to become a grown up at any point, but I don't want to. I'm supposed to be secure about my future, but I'm not. I'm supposed to be happy for the good things in my life, but I so often can only remember the hurtful parts.
It is nice to have days like this that remind me that things are pretty damn good.
I went out for drinks with a girl who works near where I live. We ended up at the place for about three hours talking about everything. I'm not sure if she liked me or not, but I gave her a little hug after walking her to her car. She's the only person that I've felt good about for awhile. I'd like to see her another time to make sure. We'll see.
Then I grabbed a quick dinner and called my friend. We went to our favorite dive bar for a pitcher of beer and chips and queso. Scratch that; this time we just had salsa. It wasn't nearly as good as the queso. He told me that I needed to try a white Russian, so I did. It was much better than I would have imagined. I've always been weary of milk and alcohol but it was good. I now have a new drink. I'll try my best to be The Dude.
Today is a new day. Today is when the summer all of ends for me. I'm not sure what the new school year has in store for me, but I welcome it. Perhaps I'll go back into a reclusive state or maybe I'll be inviting. Only time will tell.