Basically the book claims that guys are simple creatures. If a guy likes you then you'll know it right away. He won't look at other girls, he won't make up excuses for not spending time with you, he won't be searching for other things to do on the weekend, he won't be sending ex-girlfriends emails or phoning them, he just won't.
Don't fool yourself if you're in a relationship where a guy is doing this. The authors of this book have it right. As Melissa says, "Basically, the book says that if a guy likes you, he should make extra effort to show it and a girl does not deserve any less and should not accept any of the above excuses." You shouldn't accept any excuses from the guy because he won't be making them if he likes you.
Melissa lists some of the ways that you can tell whether he isn't really into you:
1.)He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, he will ask you out. Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
2.) He's just not that into you if he's not calling you. Men know how to use the phone. If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind.
3.) He's just not that into you if he's not dating you. "Hanging out" is not dating. There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he's your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.
4.) He's just not that into you if he's not having sex with you. When men like you, they want to touch you always.
5.) He's just not that into you if he's having sex with someone else. There's never going to be a good excuse for cheating.
6.)He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
7.) He's just not that into you if he doesn't want to marry you. Love cures commitment-phobia.
8) He's just not that into you if he's breaking up with you. "I don't want to go out with you" means just that.
9) He's just not that into you if he's disappeared on you. Sometimes you have to get closure all by yourself.
10.) He's just not that into you if he's married (and other insane variations of being unavailable.) If you're not able to love freely, it's not really love.
11.) He's just not that into you if he's a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak. If you really love someone, you want to do things to make that person happy.
As much as I hate to admit it, all of these are pretty right on. I've been guilty of 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, and 10 in the distant past, and each of those times I just wasn't into the person. I wasn't ever going to be into her but it was nice to have someone around and it would have hurt her to break things off.
However, right now I like someone and I am really into her. I am pursuing her and would give up plenty of my free time to hang out with her. The only thing that makes her different from a couple of relationships from the past is that I'm into her. Really there is nothing else that sets it apart.
