You have to understand that as soon as you walked in to take your order my eyes were locked on you. I was at high alert because you were certainly hot. I know, I know, I'm not good at concealing the fact that I'm staring. It's not my fault though as I'll explain.
After you placed your order I felt a sense of relief when you both took off to the other room to sit. For a couple minutes I was back at peace with my surroundings. I was able to enjoy my cheeseburger like every man has the right to do. Why did you change your mind? Why did you come back?
There were plenty of tables open in the dining area. You would have been content in the other room. There was no need to come and sit at the table that was directly next to our table. Again, my eyes locked on you. Of course, from this non-stop checking out I'm sure you imagined that it wouldn't be long before we engaged in conversation. I imagine that it would go something like this...
Me: Hey
Hot Girl 1: Hi
Me: I'm Curtis
Hot Girl 1: Gina
Hot Girl 2: Ginna (with two N's)
Me: Cool -- I can't decide which I like better
Hot Girls: (Giggle)
Me: Which name I mean (laugh like an idiot)
Hot Girl 1: Riiiight
Hot Girl 2: You have a piece of hamburger stuck by your nose?
Me: Oh thanks...I think I'm still a little drunk from last night.
Hot Girl 2: Us too
Me: You're both hot
Hot Girls: Thank you
Hot Girl 1: You're so confident.
Me: That's what they tell me but I say I'm drunk.
Hot Girl 2: (Giggles)
Me: Ginna I've got to be honest.
Hot Girls: Yes
Me: That Ginna (points to curly haired Ginna)
Hot Girl 2: Yes?
Me: My friend is going to be talking to you because I don't like curly hair as much.
Hot Girl 1: I told you that he would like me.
Hot Girl 2: Why don't you like curly hair?
Me: You're friend is a little hotter...that's really all.
Hot Girls: (Giggle)
Except it wouldn't go anything like that because that's ridiculous on numerous levels. Anyhow hot girls, I apologize for not saying anything at all. I should have offered a hello or what's up in the least.
The problem was everything to do with the fact that in middle schools hot girls would occasionally come and sit next to my friends. Except then the purpose was to call me "Ronald McDonald", laugh, and leave. I was in a shock when you arrived because I imagined the same thing happening as in middle school:
Hot Girl 1: I hope you don't mind sitting so close to Ronald McDonald Ginna
Hot Girl 2: No, I don't mind, I just can't understand why he's not at McDonald's for lunch.
Me: What are you two saying?
Hot Girl 1: Look he talks...
Hot Girl 2: He's such an idiot
Me: Actually I'm in law school so how could I be an idiot, huh?!
Hot Girls: (Laughter)
Hot Girl 2: You're such a dork
Me: That's one person's opinion
Hot Girl 1: No both of us think that
Me: Well her opinion doesn't matter because nobody would spell Ginna with two N's.
Hot Girl 2: How the hell did you know how I spelled me name? You're creepy.
Me: Our previous conversation you told me when I said that you were hot.
Hot Girls: (Gasp in horror)
Hot Girl 2: We've never spoken you creep
Hot Girl 1: And stop staring at girl's asses so much you dork.
Hot Girl 2: Nobody likes Ronald McDonald leering at them.
Me: I wasn't leering I was in shock.
Hot Girl 2: Let's go
Hot Girls (Get up and leave after giving a disgusted look)
I imagine that in reality the conversation would have found some pleasant mix between these where I wouldn't have left the restaurant in tears, but I also wouldn't have left with Gina's phone number. I apologize for not talking but also thank you for not calling me names.
