1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is
two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead
giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a
banana.
4. A backward poet writes in verse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In
feudalism, it's your
count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll
show you A-flat
minor.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is
fully recovered.
12. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
13. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge
it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down
under.
15. He often broke into song because he couldn't find
the key.
16. Every calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint
mine.
18. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never
developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison
was a small medium
at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be
exposed in the end..
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a
mall.
24. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
25. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair
she thought
she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know
basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the
agony of defeat.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
pun-ishment
For all of you lexophiles:
-x-
