Singing Loudly

Looking around at some fellow blogs I realize that other people offer questions that need answers. I intend to provide.

Melissa at Quarter Life Crisis indirectly posits whether it is more unbearable to run into Carson Daly or watch the train wreck that defines KU football?

Melissa, this is easy, it is much more difficult to run into Carson Daly. I feel for you. Running into Mr. Daly is worse than running into Dustin Diamond, because Dustin Diamond doesn't have as much of a delusion of grandeur complex. As Jimmy Fallon ironically said on SNL, "I'm Carson Daly and I'm the biggest tool in the world."

Amber wonders whether there is any better way to deal with homophobes than singing show tunes to them in the subway where they are annoyingly "preaching" to the sinners.

There is a better way. However, it's so immature that even I am above it. I've always wondered why there aren't people who go out and protest "Ugly Protesters." Shallow? Yes. Off point? Definitely. But wouldn't it be fun if while the homophobes are telling gays that they are going to burn in hell some attractive group of people are screaming "No more ugly protesters. Look at yourself! (Holds up the mirror) you need to shave and put some gel in your hair! You're ugly." This would only be used on Anti-homosexual protesters as they most deserve such shallow, stupid, and illogical treatment.

The people protesting ugly protesters would be more fun because it is a direct insult to an immutable characteristic. I'm not, however, above singing a good show tune. Good call.

Stephanie is curious if Green Day will ever have an album as good as Dookie.

Ok, she didn't even bring up Dookie, but the answer is a definite no. They'll never reach that pinnacle again. I ask, "do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once"?

Jennifer has a difficult time admitting it but in substance wonders if the Cowboys are still America's Team.

Yes, that fact will never change. They are America's Team. They are the team that every football player respects and fears forever and always.

Julie asks how she gets any work done with three cats who congregate on her desk?

Well Julie, this is why God made cats so sleepy. Once they fall asleep you can move the laptop to your coffee table and get all the world done that you need. The cats will wake up later and come to find you. By that point you'll have your work a little further along.

Dylan wonders if I was a DA what I would consider more of a child endangerment: Taking your toddler to a Pro-Kerry Union Rally and having her hold a Pro-Bush sign or taking your toddler to any Republican rally?

I'd slap the parent with an indictment in both of the cases, but I'd especially slap it on the Republican rallies.

Dylan also wonders if I can forgive Kerry for not being able to throw a football?

The easy answer to this is probably not. Damnit Kerry.

Craig at Heavy Lifting asks, in a great posting, why drunk drivers aren't given the sirens and flashing lights like fire engines?

The logistics of this would be difficult. With a good chance that I'll be going into criminal defense work it would be a welcome thing for me as long as DWI laws remained on the books. The problem then is that drunk drivers would still be logical enough to know that if their sirens are on they will be pulled over. If states removed DWI laws if you used your sirens then it would effectively give drunk drivers more of a right to the road, which would cause non-drunk drivers to turn on their sirens too. Wouldn't that be fun?

That does it for this week. I hope this helps.